Blog Tour, Guest Post, and Giveaway – Some Assembly Required by Lex Chase and Bru Baker

 

Hi, Charlie, thanks for having me here today! Lex Chase and I are promoting our new release, Some Assembly Required, the paranormal purgatory meet-cute in a chain home goods store you never knew you needed in your life until now.

Benji’s favorite store is CASA, but he never imagined it would be where he would spend his afterlife. But it’s where he’ll be stuck, surrounded by particle board furniture and affordable kitchenware, until he figures out a way to move on. Purgatory is a bit like the laminated particle board dresser you bought because it was an unbelievable deal, but then found out it had roughly 500 pieces and instructions that offer about as much guidance as a Rorschach blot. It’s not an impossible task, but it’s a daunting one.

I’ve had to turn to my kids for help assembling bookshelves and other cheap furniture here in the Baker household, since I’m not a visual thinker. Instructions that are entirely pictorial don’t do me a lot of good. Luckily, both The Boy and The Girl get a kick out of allen wrenches and cam bolts, and for the low, low price of my dignity as they mock me for my ineptitude I can outsource the work to them. A lifetime of LEGO addiction has to be good for something, right? Especially since more often than not whatever I’m trying to assemble is for the express purpose of storing said LEGOs.

 

The Girl Reading Instructions

I’d say I felt shame asking my 5-year-old to decipher these bench assembly instructions, but that would be a lie.

 

The Girl Assembling Bench

Tiny allen wrenches meant for tight spaces are practically forcing you to outsource to child labor. #justsaying

Benji doesn’t have any help when he assembles his CASA-furnished living room to replace the furniture his ex took with him when he moved out. He’s inordinately proud of all of the bookcases and other pieces he’s lovingly built in it. Of course, it’s one of those bookcases that lands him in CASA purgatory.

Anyone who dies because of a CASA product—either because it was faulty or because they were just unlucky—finds themselves haunting the humongous home goods store until they can save someone else from dying in the same way. But Benji’s in no hurry to move on, since CASA is kind of his idea of heaven on Earth.

I do have to agree with him on that. Stores like CASA reel you in with aisle after aisle of gleaming surfaces and displays that make you actually believe that the path to enlightenment involves pendant lamps gently illuminating slickly laminated bookcases, minimalist sofas with storage ottomans, and plastic Eames knock-off chairs that manage to be both hipster-chic and reminiscent of elementary school.

And then you get home, unload the car, and realize you’ve just condemned yourself to the hell of hours of furniture assembly.

That’s life, though. Some Assembly Required.

Have you ever done a DIY? Or assembled something yourself? Tell us your story!

And don’t forget to record your entry in the giveaway widget!



Genre:
 Contemporary Paranormal Comedy
Length: Novel
Published: February 8, 2016
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
ISBN: 978-1-63476-810-8
Buy: DSPAReAmazonBarnes and Noble

Blurb:

Everyone wishes they were dead when wandering the purgatory of a home furnishings store, but these guys actually are.

Benji Goss is the quintessential good guy. When his boyfriend dumps him and moves out, Benji obligingly keeps the cat—even though he’s allergic—because his ex’s new place doesn’t accept pets. He’s always joked the cat would be the death of him, but not in a way he expects when a feline mishap crushes him under a DEL TORO bookcase.

Snarky loner Patrick Bryant is in such a rut he barely remembers the life he used to lead. The last thing he recalls is being decapitated by a DEL TORO bookcase in a freak accident. As a spiritual CASA resident, he haunts the aisles of affordable Italian furniture, assisting fellow spirits in moving on to their final destinations.

When Benji appears in the CASA café, Patrick considers the naïve spirit just the man to cure his boredom. Benji’s relentless optimism chips away at Patrick’s sarcasm, making him question if there’s something beyond what he can see. But the heart is like CASA furniture—there’s always some assembly required.


About the Authors:

madison_parker_MG_4269-WEB

Lex Chase once heard Stephen King say in a commercial, “We’re all going to die, I’m just trying to make it a little more interesting.” Now she’s on a mission to make the world a hell of a lot more interesting.

Weaving tales of sweeping cinematic adventure—depending on how she feels that day—Lex sprinkles in high-speed chases, shower scenes, and more explosions than a Hollywood blockbuster. Her pride is in telling stories of men who kiss as much as they kick ass. If you’re going to march into the depths of hell, it better be beside the one you love.

Lex is a pop culture diva, her DVR is constantly backlogged, and she unapologetically loved the ending of Lost. She wouldn’t last five minutes without technology in the event of the apocalypse and has nightmares about refusing to leave her cats behind.

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Lexchase.com


Bru Baker got her first taste of life as a writer at the tender age of four when she started publishing a weekly newspaper for her family. What they called nosiness she called a nose for news, and no one was surprised when she ended up with degrees in journalism and political science and started a career in journalism.

Bru spent fifteen years writing for newspapers before making the jump to fiction. She now works in reference and readers’ advisory in a Midwestern library, though she still finds it hard to believe someone’s willing to pay her to talk about books all day. Most evenings you can find her curled up with a mug of tea, some fuzzy socks, and a book or her laptop. Whether it’s creating her own characters or getting caught up in someone else’s, there’s no denying that Bru is happiest when she’s engrossed in a story. She and her husband have two children, which means a lot of her books get written from the sidelines of various sports practices.

www.bru-baker.com
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SAR_Giveaway_Banner

We’re giving away two $25 USD Amazon Gift Cards to two lucky winners! Will it be you? Click on the graphic to enter!

Have you ever done a DIY? Or assembled something yourself? Tell us your story!


Blog Tour Stops:

2/8 – The Novel Approach and Release Day!

2/9 – Gay List Book Reviews

2/9 – My Fiction Nook

2/10 – Love Bytes Reviews

2/10 – Divine Magazine

2/11 – Charlie Cochet’s Purple Rose Tea House

2/11 – Open Skye Book Reviews

2/11 – Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

2/14 – Sinfully Gay Romance Book Reviews

2/17 – Joyfully Jay

16 Comments:

  1. I’m not very good at the DIY thing… I painted the walls of my bedroom, and the disastrous result greets me every single morning, reminding me that handiwork is not really my thing…

    • Well, all you can do is laugh Susana. And call a contractor to fix it….or just call it a piece of expressionist art. 😀

  2. I’ve never done any DIY stuff. That’s my mom’s job here at home and she’s really good at it.

    • My mother quite enjoys doing DIY and also tries to repair things on her own via YouTube videos. I should mention she has a habit of only half paying attention to the directions. Like the time she flooded the bathroom when she tried to fix a leaky faucet and FORGOT to turn off the water to the house FIRST.

  3. I’ve done a lot of assembly and DIY with my husband. One thing I did completely on my own was assemble my desk and credenza. It went better than I thought it would. 🙂

    • Awesome Jen! Mom and I enjoy building our yearly IKEA haul. A few things required a couple people. Some things we can do solo. We also enjoy altering the product to serve a different purpose so we can save space in the house. We took a bookcase and the top to a desk and made a lovely kitchen coffee bar with extra storage!

  4. My daughter works in a store and she assembles for them. She does all mine and she does a damn fine job.

    • I had a friend who once worked in IKEA and was a part of the assembly crew. Her first piece of advice was “Throw that damned allen wrench away!” She could assemble the floor samples in minutes with a power drill!

  5. I love assembling things but I don’t usually do it on my own. I’ve always worked in a team with someone else and we always have a laugh.

  6. I’ve put many IKEA things together; my hubby and I usually both want to do it. The last one was harder than normal though.

    • Omg Jen! Did you know there’s a piece of IKEA furniture that’s so complex they nicknamed it the “Divorce Maker?” There’s a reference to it in Some Assembly Required. LOL

  7. I put together my BBQ. I got to the last part and found out that the last piece was warped so I had to take it apart to return it. That was harder than putting it together!

  8. Shirley Ann Speakman

    Nope no D.I.Y for me I’m terrible at reading instructions and its also better if I am well away from any electrical tools to!

  9. I have put together beds, cupboards, tv units and tables. The time my partner helped me with a tv unit, some of the wood beside a screw hole ripped and that end of the wood fell onto his head. He was not happy and claimed for quite some time after that I had been trying to kill him. These days he either doesn’t help me or stands far away as we build the item. I have also taken apart a couple of scrap cars for parts for my old VW Golf. It did help that I was the bookkeeper for a mechanic at the time.

  10. I tried putting an IKEA bookcase, but it took forever and my brother ended up helping me.

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